Am I Good Enough?

The mind of an insecure man.

The reality is many men spend a lot of time worrying about their ability to perform in bed.  A worried man is a man whose sex life is not what he thinks it should be because he feels he's not satisfying his partner or he's doing something wrong, despite the fact that there may be no complaints from his partner. And no amount of reassurance could put their minds at ease. A man's bedroom insecurities often times are related to his own insecurities and his state of mind.

This kind of insecure man often asks “Am I good enough for her?”  Of course, this all depends on what he sees as a liability in his physical appearance or behavior.  If the man in question has a small or average-sized penis it may mean “Am I big enough?”  It may mean “Am I giving her the right amount of attention?” for the man who likes to get the dining and foreplay part right.  It may also mean “Am I giving her an orgasm or is she faking it?” since this is one of the big mysteries for any man.

This naturally leads us to the next major concern, especially for an insecure man: “How can I tell if she’s had an orgasm?”.  Unfortunately for the men, there is no way of knowing for sure whether his woman has had an orgasm or if she has acquired considerable skill at faking it.  If this issue becomes a problem or is of great concern, he should try to discuss it openly with his partner.  However, unless he and his partner are dissatisfied with his performance, the subject should be left alone.

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At the top of the list lies the eternal question that millions of frustrated men have been pursuing without much in the way of results: “Does size matter or not?”  Of course, in general this question is impossible to answer since it all depends on the woman and her preferences. Some think a 6-inch penis is big enough. Some women don’t care one way or another as long as the penis is not too small, and her partner can still satisfy her in other ways.  (Here are two highly recommended websites about the subject Penis-Enlargement-Articles.com  & PenisEnlargement-Facts.com .)

For the inexperienced (often times younger) man insecurities are naturally present.  These men often worry about questions like “Where is the clitoris and how do I find it?”  Or for the very inexperienced man (almost all teenage boys) the question "Will I always be a virgin?”  Another thought is “She’s more experienced than me! What do I do?”  Enjoy the situation, of course.  If she actually is more experienced than you, ask her to teach you all the tricks.  While many women enjoy being submissive and being with an experienced man, women are turned on by different things and many love the idea of playing the "sex teacher."  In fact, a man can sharpen his sexual skills very quickly by being with an experienced woman.  Only with maturity, education, experience, and a helpful patient partner will these insecurities fade.

And, finally, we have another series of situations that make many men uneasy: “When is she ready for sex, oral, or anal sex?".  These men often confuse confidence and welcomed aggressiveness for being annoying and pushy.  These sorts of insecurities are the ones that need to be discussed openly with ones partner.  With something as intimate as sex men need to help their partners with their fears or worries. The most important thing to do if you're a man with these insecurities or a woman who is with a man who you think has these issues is to discuss them openly and communicate with each other.